The SPOT

Given the Zen-like state of my EPIRB, I decided to also carry a SPOT personal locator. It's like the EPIRB in that you press a button when the shit hits the fan and it sends your position to a rescue coordination center via satellite, but the SPOT is a lot more lightweight. This is partly because it has a tiny battery (which lasts "up to" 24 hours as opposed to "at least" 48 hours), and partly because it lacks the secondary homing transmission that can guide rescuers to your badly mangled, shark-chomped body.

But no worries, I have plenty of other stuff with which to bring rescuers in. Specifically, 9 signal flares (3 red, 3 white, 3 parachute), signal mirror, strobe, horn, whistle, glowsticks and fluorescent dye. Though I've read reports that this dye is a shark attractant possibly because the sharks were trained during WWII that the scent of this dye marked the presence of a juicy pilot. I'm hoping that the shark community has forgotten this lesson.

BTW, click on Current Location in the right hand column to see the latest position of my SPOT beacon.

The EPIRB

So I have this Austrian-issued Kannad EPIRB, aka Emergency Position-Indicating Radio Beacon. Essentially, you keep this device around until the shit hits the fan, at which point you press the big red button on it. That sends a message to a satellite, which sends it to the Austrian coast guard, which then rescues you.

I know what everyone's thinking: does Austria even have a coast, let alone a coast guard? If they do, wouldn't they have this guy working for them? I actually spoke to the Austrian coast guard, and they not only exist but seem to speak very good English. Except when they pronounce COSPAS/SARSAT, the name of the satellite system backing the beacon network, at which point they fall back on a very impressive speech pattern that most of us have only seen in WWII movies, usually among the Gestapo. But frankly, I'd rather have the Gestapo be in charge of my rescue network: you know they will catalog every little detail and pay exquisite attention to detail. So, I think we're good on the coast guard front.

The second question might involve the battery expiry date, of 2008. I know how I design systems. I assume that's how everyone else designs theirs. So there is probably a wide safety margin and there is no cause for alarm (I'm hoping here that the Kannad engineers were not pushing for an SOSP deadline).

Here's the real problem though. The beacon has very clear instructions on how to test its operation. I'm supposed to press the test button. And then, if I see "5 white flashes," I'm "OK." If I see "5 red flashes," I'm "not OK." You can see the description in the picture.

I press the button. I see: 1 white, 1 red, 1 white, 1 red, 1 white, 1 red, 1 white, 1 red, 1 white, 1 red, 1 white flashes. 6 white and 5 red. Am I OK? Am I not OK? Am I caught in the elusive "Z" state of a tri-state buffer that is neither on nor off? Have I reached a Zen-like transcendental state that encompasses everything at the same time? I haven't even embarked on my soul-searching voyage yet.