I needed to buy a small electrical connector for the VHF antenna today. Apparently, the electrician is next to the church in Pto Pollenca, so I needed to locate the church to get to the electrician. It was close to the end of siesta time, so the streets were totally empty, except for a waitress outside a restaurant. I decided to ask her for directions:
Me: "Parla Ingles?"
Waitress: "Nooo." She decidedly does not speak English.
Me: "Donde esta la..... church?" I make a cross with my fingers, as if to ward off some imaginary vampire.
Waitress: "Que?" She's standoffish. She might be a vampire. I abandon the little finger cross.
Me: "Church, church...." This is going nowhere. "Casa de Christo!" Not sure if it's de or del, but I'm pretty happy, this has to be a clear description.
Waitress: "Christo?" I guess it could be a common name.
Me: "El Christo!" Very proud I nailed the definite article.
Waitress: "No se." Crap. I thought, back during the Inquisition, they got rid of everyone who did not know Christ at a personal level.
Me: In a flash of inspiration, I open my arms wide to the side and cock my head, Jesus-style, and wonder 'at what point do I cross the fine line from foreigner who does not speak Spanish to offensive idiot?' "Casa de Papa!"
Waitress: "Papa?" My body description is one step behind what I'm saying, which must be genuinely confusing, also I'm not wearing sandals (because I never wear sandals) so my Jesus impression is off. I think she thinks I'm asking about her father. She's probably confused because her father was not crucified.
Me: I'm out of words for a while. Then I get another brilliant flash. "Spiritu Sanctu! Casa de Spiritu Sanctu!"
Waitress: "Iglesia!!!"
Who says Latin is dead?
Me: "Parla Ingles?"
Waitress: "Nooo." She decidedly does not speak English.
Me: "Donde esta la..... church?" I make a cross with my fingers, as if to ward off some imaginary vampire.
Waitress: "Que?" She's standoffish. She might be a vampire. I abandon the little finger cross.
Me: "Church, church...." This is going nowhere. "Casa de Christo!" Not sure if it's de or del, but I'm pretty happy, this has to be a clear description.
Waitress: "Christo?" I guess it could be a common name.
Me: "El Christo!" Very proud I nailed the definite article.
Waitress: "No se." Crap. I thought, back during the Inquisition, they got rid of everyone who did not know Christ at a personal level.Me: In a flash of inspiration, I open my arms wide to the side and cock my head, Jesus-style, and wonder 'at what point do I cross the fine line from foreigner who does not speak Spanish to offensive idiot?' "Casa de Papa!"
Waitress: "Papa?" My body description is one step behind what I'm saying, which must be genuinely confusing, also I'm not wearing sandals (because I never wear sandals) so my Jesus impression is off. I think she thinks I'm asking about her father. She's probably confused because her father was not crucified.
Me: I'm out of words for a while. Then I get another brilliant flash. "Spiritu Sanctu! Casa de Spiritu Sanctu!"
Waitress: "Iglesia!!!"
Who says Latin is dead?
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